


Saturday Night's Party

by craple



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Facebook, M/M, Social Networking, failed love confession, that's it basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craple/pseuds/craple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b><span class="u">Bruce Wayne:</span></b> I feel old.<br/><i>x comment x like x</i><br/><i>Alfred Pennyworth, Lucius Fox, and 42,593 others like this.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Saturday Night's Party

**Author's Note:**

> writer's block over here. so. yeah.

_Saturday, 11.45 pm._

**Dick Grayson to Roy Harper:** did tim just proclaim his undying love for jason since he was eight

 **Roy Harper to Dick Grayson:** oh my god imma losing my dick

 **Dick Grayson to Roy Harper:** you are a pathetic excuse of a human being

_Cullen Row, Oliver Queen, and 17 others like this._

**Roy Harper to Dick Grayson:** at least im getting laid hooolghasufgu shit

 _Kory Anders likes this_.

\--

 **Stephanie Brown to Tim Drake:** Did you proclaim your undying love for Jason Todd – the guy who, by the way, has tried to kill you TWICE, and is quite possibly still thinking of ways to kill you as of present – on Bruce’s birthday party?

_Tam Fox, Conner Kent, and 58 others like this._

**Stephanie Brown:** See?

_Barbara Gordon likes this._

\--

 **Bart Allen to Conner Kent:** HEY I JUST HEARD THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO TIM IS HE ALRIGHT I MEAN WHAT HAPPENED

 **Conner Kent to Bart Allen:** Back to you later once Ive got the stench of vomit off my suit in a second Or forever @Tim Drake you are owing me a lifetime of suits for this.

 **Bart Allen:** POOR BABY

 _Lex Luthor likes this_.

\--

_Saturday, 11.58 pm._

**Roy Harper:** you should all be thanking me for getting jason off the internet and save your pretty asses off his wrath

_x comment x like x_

**Dick Grayson:** does anyone know mark zuckerberg? if you do, will you please send a request to make a dislike button? cause i’m pretty sure a lot of people would appreciate that if you do.

 **Kory Anders:** You Are Simply Jealous Of The Fact That It Is Not You To Get Jason Off.

 _Roy Harper, Bart Allen, and 20 others like this_.

 **Dick Grayson:** we are not talking about this.

 **Bart Allen:** WHY NOT

 **Bart Allen:** XO

 **Dick Grayson:** is that an emoticon or are you sending me hugs and kisses through the internet

 **Bart Allen:** YES

 **Conner Kent:** Do not try to get confirmation of which statement he is saying yes to Grayson because I will have your balls and your intestines sold off at the black market in a second

_Bart Allen, Stephanie Brown, and 78 others like this._

**Dick Grayson:** THAT MANY?

 **Dick Grayson:** there’s only like, twenty of you online!

 **Dick Grayson:** AND WHAT HAVE MY BALLS DONE TO YOU PEOPLE?

 **Barbara Gordon:** I would like to have that ‘Dislike’ button now.

 _Conner Kent, Stephanie Brown, and 78 others like this_.

\--

Sunday, 00.02 am

 **Kory Anders to Tim Drake:** I Would Love To Congratulate You On Finally Having The – Like Roy Said – BALLS To Confess Your Feelings To Jason In Front Of The Entire Members Of Teen Titans, Justice League, Including Most Of The People In Gotham. Just So You Know That If You Hurt Jason, Castration May Be In Order. Several Times. And Slowly.

_Roy Harper and Sasha Is My Name like this._

**Roy Harper:** thats my girl XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 **Sasha Is My Name:** What does that mean?

 **Damian Wayne:** That means Harper is having sex with Ms. Anders in front of the laptop.

 **Damian Wayne:** This is not blind accusation, I am looking at a footage from a hidden CCTV I placed at the opposite building.

 **Damian Wayne:** Also, Harper, you disgust me with your everything.

 _Dick Grayson likes this_.

 **Damian Wayne:** Your opinion is not needed Grayson, read between the lines.

 **Dick Grayson:** hey!

 **Roy Harper** : *saysthegu y wathchin me haviiniiiinnnng seeeeexxxhhhohohhhhh

 **Bart Allen:** STILL CANT DECIDE WHETHER I FIND THIS HOT OR NOT

 **Conner Kent:** Why am I friends with you guys again?

_Lex Luthor, Clark Kent, and 24 others like this._

\--

 **Conner Kent:** OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED DAD ARE YOU READING THIS ARE YOU READING EVERY SINGLE COMMENT I HAVE WRITTEN I THOUGHT YOU’RE IN BED WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED DAD

_x comment x like x_

**Lex Luthor:** You are grounded.

 _Clark Kent likes this_.

 **Conner Kent:** Diana diana are you hacking my dads’ accounts are you watching my dads having sex right now because I will KILL YOU next-of-kin or not.

 _Princess Diana likes this_.

 **Stephanie Brown:** And I thought MY family is all sorts of fucked up.

_Cassandra Wayne, Barbara Gordon, and 3 others like this._

\--

 **Bruce Wayne:** Where did everybody go?

_x comment x like x_

_Alfred Pennyworth, Lucius Fox, and 2,951 others like this._

**Kory Anders:** Half Of Gotham Indeed.

\--

 **Bruce Wayne:** I feel old.

_x comment x like x_

_Alfred Pennyworth, Lucius Fox, and 42,593 others like this._

* * *

Sunday, 07.15 am

 **Tim Drake:** there is a possibility that i might have been drugged.

_x comment x like x_

_Jason Todd likes this_.

\--

 **Tim Drake to Stephanie Brown:** what.

 _Jason Todd likes this_.

\--

 **Tim Drake to Jason Todd:** i noticed that you are the only person who is available at this hour whilst 95% of the people i know are still either in bed or nursing a very terrible case of hangover after last night’s party, which is why it is only appropriate for me to tell you that the maisie’s breakfast on 56 th street is already open in case you are hungry.

 **Jason Todd:** n i assume dat ur sitting there w/ a cup of cfe n books n typing franticlly

 **Bart Allen:** HE IS ALSO DRESSED VERY NICELY

 **Bart Allen:** SEEING THAT HE DRAGGED ME OUT OF THE BED AND WHINED WHICH CLOTHES WOULD MAKE HIM LOOK FUCKABLE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE HES TRYING TOO HARD

 **Kory Anders:** We See Him.

 **Roy Harper:** oh wow jason you need to get down here ASAP

 **Tim Drake:** @Bart Allen remind me to properly castrate you if this doesn’t go well.

 **Jason Todd:** r u asking me out on a date

 **Jason Todd:** is tis som weird cover to get me on a date w/ u

 **Tim Drake:** … yes?

 **Jason Todd:** k

\--

 **Roy Harper:** OH MY GGGGOOOODODDDDD FINALLYYYYYY

_x comment x like x_

_Kory Anders likes this._

**Bart Allen:** WHAT DID THEY KISS DID THEY FINALLY KISS WHAT

 **Roy Harper:** … i think thats tims hand down jasons pants

 **Roy Harper:** OH MY GOD THEYRE HAVING SEX IN PUBLIC WHILE WERE WATCHING WHAT HOW MANY KINKS HAVE YOU FULFILLED THAT BY THAT WHATWHATWHAAAT

 **Jim Gordon:** You should be glad I just woke up.

_Gotham’s Police Departmen, Alfred Pennyworth, and 308 others like this._

**Roy Harper:** SINCE WHEN AM I FRIENDS WITH HALF OF GOTHAM’S OFFICERS

 **Kory Anders:** This Is Why I Told You Not To

 **Kory Anders:** aetTJIGKNKXjsngfdsDFO

 **Jim Gordon:** I don’t want to know.

 **Bart Allen:** WHAT

 _Jim Gordon likes this_.

\--

Sunday, 08.45 am

 **Tim Drake** _changed his relationship status from_ **Single** _to_ **In Relationship** _with_ **Jason Todd**.

_x comment x like x_

_Roy Harper, Kory Anders, and 63 others like this._

**Conner Kent:** I really do not want to know what happened during the lost time between 715 and 845 do I

 **Jason Todd:** no i sggst u no ask

_Tim Drake, Roy Harper, and Kory Anders like this._


End file.
